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Monday, September 29, 2008

Strap On, Strap Off


I was on the train the other day and I’m sitting there, not into the book I had brought along with me on the ride, and lacking the room to enact the deliberately blank and disinterested upward gaze necessary to make it through a long ride into Brooklyn from Queens without getting any unwanted attention. I tried my hand at an understated upward (UU), and failing, I found myself eye to eye with the gentlemen bits of a particularly tall passenger. Bummer.

The goodies of the standing an unavoidable vision for the poor, unsuspecting sitting.

My eyes sank, and I saw that he was wearing CARPENTER PANTS. Remember those? They’re those pants that had a thin strap on the side, angled diagonally and serving no real purpose. They’re inspired by pants worn by carpenters that had such a strap so as to make it easier to lug a hammer around at a worksite. Practical. (see: pants)

Now I know I don’t know a whole lot about the world of fashion, and how things come to me... its like that Devil Wears Prada scene where Meryl Streep’s character rips Anne Hathaway to shreds talking about her turquoise sweater and how she was the enabler of even the possibility of outfit because she put it on the cover of her magazine during some spring of some year, and there was a subsequent trickle down through designers and distributors until it finally reached the sales rack at Target. Like, Biatch, you don’t even know where the shit you’re wearing comes from.

So please excuse my ignorance with regards to the cultural significance of the carpenter strap as per the world of fashion. I don’t know what sortof mad scientist fashion designer had the a-ha moment to add this crucial, poss ironical detail to worldwide denim.

In any case, I think the Carpenter Strap is really interesting in that for a while, you couldn’t buy a pair of pants that didn’t have it. This was all pre-flares, and defi pre-skinny jean. That world seems so long ago: The JNCO World with widelegs that you could quite easily fit like ten more of your legs in. My pet peeve was when wide pants like that were just perfectly short, stopping right when the sneaker started. Urgggghhhh. It’s annoying me just to think about it. I just feel that the denouement of trousers like that should be more gradual.

I kindof miss it though. The baggy, anything goes style is so much more doable for women, and made it a lot easier to feel like you can be stylish and with the times without having to put your body so out there and try to fit into the tightest, skankiest, most impossible outfits to be both current and fly. But I’m not lying to myself. Most women wore the big, baggy flannel (lumberjacks, what!) button-downs under the tight white tank. I like it though. Its like, the power of suggestion, a subtlety that barely exists anymore. Hmm… more on this later.

Still, I wonder where that dude on the train got those Carpenter Pants in 2008. Uhmazing.

1 comments:

Jillian said...

I had a pair of boys JNCO jeans. Broke my heart when I had to give them away. Katie Holmes is determined to bring them back tho so- HOLLA

ps- carpenter pants, new balance shoes = frosh boys in the butts. no shame - just truth.