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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Namesake

None of that Jhumpa shizz.
Which one of these??


Brandy and Monica power duo
The Girl Is Mine with Paul McCartney - Michael Jackson
Michael and Paul power duo

want 2 chat?

ReMeMBeR wHen cHaTTiNg oNliNe wAs nEW n wE UsEd 2 tALk LyKe Dis?

Buh Bye Bug A Booz!

Music Videos by VideoCure

Late summer, early fall in NYC, spending time with so many fly hunnies, has me encountering lots of BUG A BOOS.

What is a bug a boo? one might ask. Isn’t that just a term that Beyonce made up for platinum purposes and The Writing on the Wall? The answer could be yes, but I have re-incorporated the term into my everyday vernacular, for both humor and accuracy.

A bug a boo is one who is trifling. Someone who just doesn’t know HOW TO ACT. Ze doesn’t know how to treat others or to maintain the boundaries of a normal human relationship. Ze is, essentially, a HOT MESS.

SEE: lyrics from “Bug A Boo,” by Beyonce Knowles, and 3 other people who were apparently in a girl group with her.

When I first met you, you were cool/ But it was game, you had me fooled / 'Cause 20 minutes after I gave you my number/ You already had my mailbox full

Sounds like some shit me and Carebear had to deal with in Ghanz… and in NYC, maybe the only reason it hasn’t come to fruition in that exact way is bc I’m hesitant to give out my number like that. Too bad Beyonce and Co.’s solutions are so dated:

You make me wanna throw/ My pager out the window/ Tell MCI to cut the phone poles/ Break my lease so I can move/ ‘Cause you a bug a boo/ A bug a boo/ I wanna put your number on the call block/ Have AOL make my email stop/ ‘Cause you’re a bug a boo/ You’re buggin me/ You’re buggin what?/ You’re buggin who?/ You’re buggin me!/ And don’t you see it ain’t cool

This song is full of near obsolete technologies!!! BEEPERS MCI AOL. How’s a modern girl to deal?

Solution: Think of bug a boo-ing as an evolving art. The true bug a boos, will always find new means for old tricks. SO BEWARE AND BE VIGILANT. Just because they’re persistent and buggin, does not mean they get to talk to you!!!

PS. check out this hot J.Lo/DC power mashup: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj6QniWt_NM
love that woman.

Monday, September 29, 2008

JET SET!

A billion years ago, my bestie Linde started a facebook group at Wesleyan called “I HEART BENNY.” At that point, during my freshman year, I didn’t know her that well, but I came across this group and was just like, “wow who is this genius. This group is so necessary.”

For all of you who don’t know who BENNY is: Watch.

The Sandlot. He was the dreamy, knowledgeable and ridiculously talented young baseballer in a movie filled with doofy little kids with big dreams. And he was a “man” of color.

BENNY "The Jet" RODRIGUEZ, mmm he was IT. I don’t know how many young women and men I’ve bonded with over the years over our mutual love for homeboy when we were kids. And I felt a kindred link with Linde when encountering this facebook group. Also to each and every wunderkind that joined the group.

Benny was played by Mike Vitar, but in our hearts and souls, he’s always BENNY. Even when he was in D2: The Mighty Ducks, as the hockey player who couldn’t figure out how to stop skating once he started, he was always just BENNY. He was the type of dude, that you would look at and be like, “damn. That kid is gonna grow up GOOD.” He was the type of dude that when you see the movies on TV now, that you’re awkwardly and ashamedly drawn to… (yikes. Poss too much info). But where’d he go? And most importantly…

HOW DID HE TURN OUT???

Mike Vitar is now a firefighter… fighting fires, sexy. But Mike Vitar is clearly no longer BENNY. His face looks totally different! Who IS that?!

Judge for yourselves!!




Strap On, Strap Off


I was on the train the other day and I’m sitting there, not into the book I had brought along with me on the ride, and lacking the room to enact the deliberately blank and disinterested upward gaze necessary to make it through a long ride into Brooklyn from Queens without getting any unwanted attention. I tried my hand at an understated upward (UU), and failing, I found myself eye to eye with the gentlemen bits of a particularly tall passenger. Bummer.

The goodies of the standing an unavoidable vision for the poor, unsuspecting sitting.

My eyes sank, and I saw that he was wearing CARPENTER PANTS. Remember those? They’re those pants that had a thin strap on the side, angled diagonally and serving no real purpose. They’re inspired by pants worn by carpenters that had such a strap so as to make it easier to lug a hammer around at a worksite. Practical. (see: pants)

Now I know I don’t know a whole lot about the world of fashion, and how things come to me... its like that Devil Wears Prada scene where Meryl Streep’s character rips Anne Hathaway to shreds talking about her turquoise sweater and how she was the enabler of even the possibility of outfit because she put it on the cover of her magazine during some spring of some year, and there was a subsequent trickle down through designers and distributors until it finally reached the sales rack at Target. Like, Biatch, you don’t even know where the shit you’re wearing comes from.

So please excuse my ignorance with regards to the cultural significance of the carpenter strap as per the world of fashion. I don’t know what sortof mad scientist fashion designer had the a-ha moment to add this crucial, poss ironical detail to worldwide denim.

In any case, I think the Carpenter Strap is really interesting in that for a while, you couldn’t buy a pair of pants that didn’t have it. This was all pre-flares, and defi pre-skinny jean. That world seems so long ago: The JNCO World with widelegs that you could quite easily fit like ten more of your legs in. My pet peeve was when wide pants like that were just perfectly short, stopping right when the sneaker started. Urgggghhhh. It’s annoying me just to think about it. I just feel that the denouement of trousers like that should be more gradual.

I kindof miss it though. The baggy, anything goes style is so much more doable for women, and made it a lot easier to feel like you can be stylish and with the times without having to put your body so out there and try to fit into the tightest, skankiest, most impossible outfits to be both current and fly. But I’m not lying to myself. Most women wore the big, baggy flannel (lumberjacks, what!) button-downs under the tight white tank. I like it though. Its like, the power of suggestion, a subtlety that barely exists anymore. Hmm… more on this later.

Still, I wonder where that dude on the train got those Carpenter Pants in 2008. Uhmazing.

Who's Da Boss?


So. Last Tues, I went for a late lunch from work, and was walking down Madison Ave at like 3 in the afternoon or something, stopped at a crosswalk, blasting Hindi music on my ipod, and who do i spot? JUDITH LIGHT!!!!

When I saw her, she was on her phone and we made DIRECT eye contact. It was intense and beautiful… Okay, maybe neither of those are appropriate adjectives, but it definitely was something that happened that I didn’t think ever would in my lifetime. The JL sighting is actually the catalyzing force behind my energies in getting this blog started. So, thanks Judy!

The queer activist extraordinaire and Mama Meade on today’s Ugly Betty will always always be dear to me as Tony Danza’s employer/boo on Who’s the Boss? Hence, the aforewritten all-caps and multiple exclamations are totes necess, thanks.

She was so uptight, so obnoxious, so PERFECT for the anal WASP who had her world turned upside down by the exciting Italian from Brooklyn, whose finished career as a player for the St. Louis Cardinals (holla STL!) brought him to Connecticut to cook dinners, and vacuum curtains. Remember how he used to say her name? ANgeluhhh. Her mom, Mona, was that red head who would wear the high waisted pants and always go on dates. I think she was supposed to be a sexy milfy type of person… strange. Jeez, how do these shows get made? The premise is so bizarrely specific and brings up questions of class, privilege, gender roles and diversities in our conceptions of whiteness. Maaaybe the whole thing was a political project! Tony was white but Italian, and even though he could’ve presumably been rich from his baseball days, his Brooklyn roots and role as Angela’s maid made a romantical connection with her against all odds. BUT if he wasn’t white, who are we kidding? she probs wouldn’t even hire him, let alone marry him by the end…anyway, I’d have to go back and watch an episode and see how it makes me feel now. But I remember what it was like to watch back then.

Another significant point: Alyssa Milano got her start on that show. She’s so fly, and so BAD. (Poison Ivy II, anyone?) She was always playing the bad girl roles after WTB? – love it! Who remembers how she used to be Justin Timberlake’s special lady, pre- Jessica Biel (famous for no reason) and Cameron Diaz (whom I secretly don’t hate). Oh, Alyssa Milano. Oh, Who’s the Boss? Oh, Judith Light. I love it all! I miss you! I don’t know that I ever cared when I had you!

Does it all still matter? I suggest you watch the following and decide. Love the Tony Danza boxing clip. The choice is up to you m’friend!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

CrazySexyKewl

Hey friend(s).

Don’t be fooled by the title. The purpose is not to hold my own with the Crazy ones that Make Shit Happen. The Arbiters of Sexy. The Titans of Cool.

Do you want to know the secret to uncovering what your life is missing in order to be fly girls and boys, or about fresh, new and glamorous happenings that would enrich your being and livelihood? Do you want to know how to make affordable and adorable necklaces that one should not live without?

I can’t help you! Womp (x3).I can barely help myself, kids. I can’t sophista-funk or dip into a crate o' honey. My terribly true blue boos do it. And they’re so good, they about to take off and fly.

Okay. No more shoutouts! They actually have readers! My shit is what you already know. What you’ve already felt and experienced, what made you into the person that you are. My shit is the shit that is nearly useless to know, and yet we care somehow.

The Blog is Mine Redux. Prepare to think about stuff you never thought you would after eighth grade. Prepare to care. About mini backpacks and songs by Total feat L.L. Cool J. About how Charlie Sheen’s real name is Carlos Estevez and songs like Rock the Boat by the Hues Corporation should get more airplay on lite fm radio stations. About where Montell Jordan is presently, after his This is How We Do It comeback came only a mere four years later in the form of Get it on Tonite. See? I’m trying to link the past with the NOW, the need for nostalgia marked by the need to move forward. Let’s do this thing! Woo!